Many families gathered last Sunday to celebrate Easter. Ours did not by conscious, compassionate choice after we talked with one another.
It’s the 1st Easter since mom passed away on Christmas morning, 2013, and we each felt we needed solo time on Sunday as we each walk through our own grief journey.
The only authentic way through grief is truly walking through the grief, working through it, not around it.
Numbing techniques don’t remove the grief, they only mask it while the scabbing of the original wound builds up.
Attempting to go around the pain only has you looking elsewhere to pretend the pain’s not right there. But it is – still ready to trip you up because you’ve been pretending it’s not in the way.
The only way is through.
The words of comfort and offers of support are wonderful and helpful. But they cannot remove or truly lessen the pain directly. Instead, the comfort & support are bits you can carry along with you during your journey walking through the grief.
For certain periods of time (hours, days, weeks), you may be on part of the journey where there is only room for you and the pain. You may want comfort & support but are not able to even handle or receive the gift that day.
Once the terrain changes, you might then have more room to walk both with support from others and the pain that you’re passing through then.
I also strongly believe that these are journeys that give us the gift of breaking open even more as authentic human beings if we allow that to happen. The depth of your experiences & wisdom comes only from a direct journey. If you try and skip the journey, the hidden gifts & treasures along the way won’t be revealed to you.
by Sean O’Meara