Sometimes people do need to be lectured.

Even you!

But most of the time that type of “influence” lands short.

And drives people away from exactly where you were hoping to lead …

Maybe your early experiences around Influence were different from mine.

For me? Both the definition and how it got shown were from a pressured, “my way or the highway” and lecturing kind of way.

Influence is one of the Key Topics I work on with people as a Certified High Performance Coach. I see that many of us usually have a combative & negative view when we think of that word.

That’s not really accurate.

And, I think it limits how we show up for the chance to positively influence someone else.

You’ve probably had plenty of times where someone was trying to influence you in a pressured, weird energy kind of way, right?

Well, stop doing that to others!


Here are a few common ways to Lead, Not Lecture, with your Influence:

  • SHOW what’s possible to the person that they might not have thought of or seen
  • Use words that THEY use, they understand and that they connect with
  • Remember they’re probably doing the best they can – offer your ideas as a tool, don’t wield them as a weapon
  • Focus on what they’ll get to add to their lives, not how they’re “bad” as a person now
  • Keep asking yourself how YOU’D want to be talked to right now if the roles were reversed

Simple to describe?


But not always so easy to do in the moment. Until now – it’s time to put it into action …

Do you have a person or situation you want to positively influence this week? And if you do, are you WILLING to use a Lead, Not Lecture approach to see how it helps?

I’d LOVE to celebrate your victories with this more effective way to influence people in your life, so please comment below to let me know how you put this advice into action!